Kevin McHale is a Graveyard Smash

I was working in the lab late one night

When my eyes beheld an eerie sight

For my monster from his slab began to rise

And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash

Inside the Minnesota Timberwolves War Room

Kevin McHale: Alright! Time for draftin'! Kevin MickeyAle loves him some draftin'. Scouts, get up in here! Kevin McHale: Excellent. My two best chums. Scouts honor and all that. You two been checkin' them college guys out?

Lady Scout: Oh, yes sir, since last year's draft. Just like you said.

Man Scout: There's a bunch of really talented, athletic players available this year. Just what we need.

Kevin McHale: You two are some real pals. Let's have a looksy at our roster so far. Who's first?

Kevin McHale: Hah. Next.

Kevin McHale: Who's that?

Man Scout: Sebastian Telfair, sir.
Kevin McHale: Is that a real name? What's his deal?

Lady Scout: Ostensibly, he's a point guard. Kind of a disappointment.

Kevin McHale: Well we don't want any more of those. I like his hat though. Who else we got?

Kevin McHale: You guys are messing with me, right? That has to be Photoshopped. Who acquired that fat slob?

Lady Scout: Uh, you, sir.

Kevin McHale: Are you serious? Why would I want Antoine Walkman or whatever his name is? That's stupid.

Man Scout: You were pretty excited when he got here. He's got a championship, you said.

Kevin McHale: Well, championship experience is a plus.....anyways, who was that other big dude we had. Hal Jurgensen or something?

Lady Scout: Al Jefferson.

Kevin McHale: Sure, whatever. He's good right?

Man Scout: Yes, he's very good.

Kevin McHale: Why don't we just get another one of him?

Lady Scout: He's a bit undersized and that kills us defensively. Plus it'd be silly to have exact replicas.

Kevin McHale: But your buddy said he was good.

Lady Scout: He is.

Kevin McHale: Great. Tell me what players are exactly like him.

Man Scout: I suppose Kevin Love from UCLA is the closest to Al.

Kevin McHale: Kevin Love? From the Beach Boys?! I love the Beach Boys!

Lady Scout: No, he's a basketball player. His uncle was in the Beach Boys.

Kevin McHale: Close enough. How's his vertical?

Man Scout: Neglible.

Kevin McHale: JACKPOT!