Here's Your Proof

If you've ever doubted the accuracy of this Internet weblog site, don't. Everything you ever read on here is true. Just two months ago I posted this absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Vinny Del Negro's coaching methods. Included in that post was this picture:

You might have thought I was joking and that these really weren't Vinny Del Negro's notes. Compare that play on the left to this one that Skeets captured during Saturday's game against the Celtics:

Eerily similar, aren't they? This just goes to show that I know things. But how?, you might wonder. I can't reveal that, but you should know the question isn't what are Vinny Del Negro's plays; it's WHEN are Vinny Del Negro's plays.

Found Item(s): Vinny Del Negro's Coaching Notes

If You Don't Like My Cannolis, Then You Can Just Get Out of My Face

Ey yo, uh guys. Ey guys. I, uh, brought yous guys some cannolis from my mudda. My mudda made these cannolis just for yous guys, so, uh, you best be eatin' these cannolis.

Don't even act like you ain't like no cannolis, capice? If you think y'can just traipse around this here locka room actin' like you ain't like no cannolis, yous guys got anudder thing comin'. Vinny D ain't playin' around. These cannolis, theys pretty great, so eat 'em. Errrybody here's eatin' two, three, four cannoli. I don't care if you ain't even know what cannolis is, cause these cannolis are some real cannolis.


Excuse me. I, uh, I musta misheard you. You say you ain't like my moms's cannolis, Joakim? What, they too decadent and delicious for you, Frenchy? You want that sissy French food that's like a single slice of cheese on a plate with some sauce? FUHGEDDABOUDIT!!! This the real good cannoli, straight outta Italy. You ain't like it, you can get outta my locka room.


Oh, what? What? You gonna do somethin', Frenchy? I didn't think so. Siddown.


Anybody else here got somethin' to say about my mudda's cannolis? No. You don't. So just take your no cannoli eatin' keisters outta my locka room and get warmed up. You ain't want cannolis, you ain't eatin' NOTHIN'! It's as simple as that. If ain't momma's cannoli, FUHGEDDABOUDIT!!


Do not. Even Think. About bringin' some non-cannoli type a food in Vinny D's locka room, less you wanna take it to the mattresses.

Chicago Bulls Hire My Friend as Head Coach

Actual text messages I received after it was announced that the Bulls were hiring Vinny Del Negro:

"seriously?"

"schmitt"

"just so u know his name is spanish for vincent of the black"

"vinny f ing del negro? is this a joke?"

Needless to say, I'm VERY excited for the Del Negro era; even if it's just for the jokes.