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Showing posts with label andrei kirilenko. Show all posts
Showing posts with label andrei kirilenko. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

NBA Style Report - October 2009

Dirk Nowitzki
Walter Herrmann is like "nice hair." Then he rolled his eyes and palmed two basketballs in the same hand.
DOWNGRADE

Rasheed Wallace
For 63 years the Celtics have been a world class organization from the front office to the uniforms. Then they signed Sheed and told him it was okay to modify his sweatpants.
DOWNGRADE


Josh McRoberts
It's good to see that McRoberts has embraced the 'zany' bench guy role, albeit with the typical Duke twist (read: juiceboxy).
KIND OF AN UPGRADE


DeShawn Stevenson
Whoops! You still have a neck tattoo of Abraham Lincoln.
DOWNGRADE

Andrei Kirilenko
"I cahn't vait for Jim unt Pahm to be marry. I've been unt fan of John Krahseenski for long time."
UPGRADE

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

RetroTorch: Andrei Kirilenko Gets Career Advice

"ЬЦT PЦH-PДШ, ЗЭF I CДИЙФT MДSTЗЯ ЭVЗИ ФЙЗ SКЭЗL, I VILL ИФT SЦCCЭЗD.

"ДИDЯЗI, MУ SФЙ. FФЯ ZЭ LДST TIMЗ, ЧФЦ ИЭЗD ЙФT MДSTЭЯ ДИУ SКЗЭL. JЦST ЬЗCФMЭ GФФT ЗЭЙ MДИЧ. ZЗЙ, MУ SФИ, ЧФЦ ШILL GЭT MДЙУ ЯЦЪLЗS."

"DД, FДSHД. I ЬЗLIЭVЗ УФЦ."

"VЗЯSДTILITУ, ДИDЯЭI. ZДT ЗЭS ZЗ MФST ЭЗMPФЯTДЙT SКЭЗL."

"DД, FДSHД. DД."

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Andrei Kirilenko MATHEMATICSIZED

At the risk of becoming an Andrei Kirilenko fan blog, I present the latest Blowtorch equation:



+


X


=

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Re-Education of Andrei Kirilenko
















By all accounts, Andrei Kirilenko has been ridiculous this summer. I've been a huge AK supporter ever since I saw him throw one of my favorite passes ever in a summer league game. Driving from the right wing, Kirilenko reached the block and threw some kind of two hand, over the head pass to a guy driving the lane behind him. That's a terrible description, but seeing it was awesome. Anyways, AK47 lit up Lithuania in the Eurobasket finals and now I'm pumped for him to do something on the Jazz.

Kirilenko is one of those once-in-a-lifetime players. Not in the Jordan, Bird, Magic way but in more of a Barkley, Manute Bol, Khalid El-Amin kind of way. By my very scientific calculations, he has the longest arms in the history of guys who aren't seven feet tall. Those Inspector Gadgets allow him to block an insane amount of shots and get his hands on a ton of steals. And given space, he can be a reliable scorer. Not to mention that he looks like Ivan Drago.

Kirilenko's the type of player who you don't want to see put on muscle because so much of his effectiveness comes from his arms' ability to be in six places at once. Word was, he was nearly traded to the Suns for Shawn Marion. Sadly, this trade didn't go down as it would have been the most perfect situation in the league for him. Rather than having to play out of position as a power forward, when Kirilenko is given a chance to create, he's deadly. I don't know if it's because of his angular body, but he seems to have a knack for exploiting strange angles to the basket.

Nonetheless, Kirilenko is a Jazzster again this year. That means he'll probably be stuck shooting jumpers on kickouts from Chesthairlos Boozer in a tremendous waste of his unique skill set. But keep your eye on the stat sheet because he's sure to bust out something like an 18/14/6 with 9 blocks and 3 steals.