2005, the Year in Music

Trey's Top Ten of Two Thousand and Five, the Year of Our Lord:
10. the White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan
9. Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
8. the New Pornographers - Twin Cinema
7. LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem
6. M.I.A. - Arular
5. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
4. Architecture in Helsinki - In Case We Die
3. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
2. Kanye West - Late Registration
1. Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary

High Honorable Mention: Devendra Banhart - Cripple Crow, Kaiser Cheifs - Employment, The Boy Least Likely To - The Best Party Ever, Antony and the Johnsons - I Am a Bird Now

Honorable Mention: Sleater-Kinney - The Woods, Hot Chip - Coming On Strong, the Decemberists - Picaresque, We Are Scientists - With Love and Squalor, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Howl, Queens of the Stone Age - Lullabies to Paralyze, the Shout Out Louds - Howl Howl Gaff Gaff, Beck - Guero, Animal Collective - Feels

Could Have Been Betters: Bell Orchestre - Recording a Tape the Colour of Light, Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better

Five Favorite Songs:
5. Bloc Party - "This Modern Love"
4. the White Stripes - "My Doorbell"
3. Kanye West (ft. Paul Wall) - "Drive Slow"
2. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth"
1. Wolf Parade - "I'll Believe in Anything"

Best Concert Moments:
-"Rebellion (Lies)" - Arcade Fire, at the Riviera
-"Wake Up" - Arcade Fire, at Lollapalooza
-"Where Is My Mind?" - Pixies, at Lollapalooza
-"Oh My God" - Kaiser Chiefs, at Lollapalooza
-Dancing Man in Turban at Depeche Mode, at AllState Arena
-"Romantic Rights"- Death From Above 1979, at Intonation Festival
-Black Kids Dancing on Stage with the Go! Team, at Intonation Festival

In Case You Were Wondering

I don't know how it happened, but it did.

Pirates are overrated.

They have most definitely jumped the proverbial shark. It may have occured when they started selling pirate shirts at Hot Topic, but I'm not positive. So with that being said, I'd like to let you in on a little information:

Werewolves are the new pirates.

You were probably thinking ninjas would be the new pirates, but they too will jump the shark if they already haven't. So think about it. Werewolves. Yeah, that works.

Operation Cut the Fat

Recently, me and Mr. Adam Hansen have been embarking upon one of our historic missions. As you likely have gathered, this mission is titled "Operation Cut the Fat." The premises are simple:

1. Getting rid of the things in your life that you don't need.

That's it. This includes things such as deleting pointless phone numbers, removing friends from Facebook, or in the case of Adam, retiring from the Benedictine party community (finally).

My mission has been centered on removing the various phone numbers of people who I know that I will likely never call again and also trimming down my Facebook friends and groups to include only the most important. The remaining friends on my Facebook are only my good friends at Benedictine and my friends from high school who I like to keep in touch with. Otherwise, you're outta there. It's not meant to be a malicious thing. It just makes my life simpler and easier.

The influences for the Cut the Fat movement (CTF) are far-reaching. They include, but are not limited to: Douglas Coupland's Generation X, the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine, and of course, Adam's untimely drunken outbursts directed at certain stupid girls.

As I said, Mr. Hansen has retired from the Benedictine party community after a few unfortunate incidents and the pestering of his friends. This has been a major component of the CTF. Furthermore, in a move inspired by both Jerry Poro and Vin Diesel, Mr. H (as his students call him) has even quit the Facebook. Though this is a commendable action, it is not one that is necessary in the CTF. The Facebook is valuable as a way to keep in touch with old friends, and in my case, meet a wonderful lady. Nonetheless, the dedication shown by Mr. H is one that should be applauded.

When all is said and done, it is our sincere hope that CTF will enrich our lives. We encourage you to take a look at your life and get rid of what you just don't need.

Quick Story

I got paid a bizarrely awesome compliment tonight. Normally, my boo specializes in these, but this one came from a highly unlikely source.

Earlier this evening my sister told me she had to tell me what Chelsey said about me. Chelsey is my sister's classmate and friend from way back, like age 3. She is also Tyler's (the Feedback Whales guitarist and my oldest friend) sister. Needless to say, due to our age differences her and I have no communication whatsoever. This is what made the compliment bizarre. ANYWAY, Sis began by telling me that Chelsey was shocked that I was on Myspace, which seems weird because just about everyone is on Myspace. She then proceeded to tell me that her and Tyler were talking about how I knew about "every band" and how it was "so cool that I could know so much about so much music." If you know me, you know that I take a small amount of pride in my musical knowledge, and that I constantly search for interesting things. So to know that the guitarist from my band and his sister marvel at my abilities is kind of neat. I don't know how they could have possibly began this conversation, but the fact that I know it took place is fun for me.

This was one of the high points of my day, along with a call for a job interview. Also, hearing my girlfriend sound happy and excited on the phone was definitely a pick-me-up. Made me want to be with her tomorrow even more than I already did.

I'll Be Your Mirror

I'm really confused about what I look like to other people. It is quite common to try to compare people you know to famous people. Adam, for example, is widely believed to be very Will Ferrel-esque. But I seem to be unclassifiable. As proof I present to you the strange array of people I have been compared to.

Justin Timberlake - this is the most common comparison that I get. In high school, I once signed a Justin Timberlake autograph while at the mall.









Ryan Reynolds - this originally was a Grandma only opinion, but lately people at work have been saying it too. At first I thought it was due to my beard, but even after I shaved one guy was afraid I would kill him with an axe just like Mr. Reynolds in The Amityville Horror.








This is where things start to get weird.

Brett Favre - I wish I could play football like Brett Favre (and I bet he wishes he could too), but I really see no similarity except for blue eyes. I think another mitigating factor would be that he has roughly 15 years on me. I don't get it.









Steven Seagal - this is surely a Grandma only opinion, right? I can't see anyway that me and the most lethal man to ever have a ponytail look alike. It should be noted that my grandma is not blind and/or senile.









After seeing these pictures, you can see why I am confused about who I look like to other people. So please, let me know who you think I look like so that I can begin the casting for my biopic.

Quickly

Here is a quick list of albums that I really liked this year that could make my official top 10 list of 2005:

• Apologies to the Queen Mary - Wolf Parade
• Silent Alarm - Bloc Party
• LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem
• Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
• Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
• Late Registration - Kanye West
• In Case We Die - Architecture in Helsinki
• The Best Party Ever - The Boy Least Likely To
• Cripple Crow - Devendra Banhart
• Employment - Kaiser Chiefs
• Arular - M.I.A.
• Twin Cinema - the New Pornographers
• Howl Howl Gaff Gaff - the Shout Out Louds
• The Woods - Sleater-Kinney

As you can probably figure out, that is more than 10 albums1. But I think those are my favorite releases of 20052. Some of these I am surprised were released in 20053, but that helps make the list even better. I shall finish said list by the end of the month.

1. 14 to be exact.
2. A few notable exceptions to this preliminary cut: Lullabies to Paralyze - Queens of the Stone Age, Guero - Beck, Howl - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. All 3 are highly recommended, but not quite as strong througout as the above mentioned.
3. Those are: Bloc Party, LCD Soundsystem, M.I.A., and Kaiser Chiefs. It seems like those have been out forever.
   

Not Your Typical Tuesday Night

I've prepared a short skit that altered the events of last night. It takes place in a Baskin-Robbins at around 5:10 pm and showcases 4 characters:

Trey - main character; enjoys rock music
Clinton - man on the other end of the phone; Trey's best friend from high school
Eve - Trey's girlfriend with him at Baskin-Robbins; enjoys rock music, is sexy
Clerk - girl who works at Baskin-Robbins

As I stated, this is the transcription of the conversation I had with Clinton last night in Baskin-Robbins:

Trey's phone chirps, it is Clinton
Trey [surprised]: Hey?!
Clinton: Hey. What are you doing?
Trey: Eating ice cream. What are you doing?
Clinton: Eating a sandwich. An ice cream one.
Trey: Awesome. Where are you?
Clinton: In my room. At school.
Trey [confused]: All right.
Clinton: What are you doing tonight?
Trey: Just hanging out with my girlfriend.
Clinton: Cool. Do you guys want to go to Depeche Mode?
[pause]
Trey [incredulous]: Are you serious?
Eve [looking interested]: What?
Clinton: Yeah. Tonight.
Trey [to Eve]: Do you want to go see Depeche Mode tonight?
Eve [shocked]: Yeah!
Trey [to Clinton]: How much?
Clinton: Uh. Free.
Trey: Are you serious? [to Clerk] I'll have Truffle in Paradise in a waffle cone.
Clerk: Ok.
Clinton: Yeah, I have extra tickets from some girl.
Trey: Where is it?
Clinton: Allstate.
Trey [disbelieving]: You're telling me you have to free tickets to see Depeche Mode tonight at the Allstate Arena?
Clinton: Yeah, and there's an opening band, the Raveonettes.
Trey: Yeah. We'll go for sure.

So that's the story of my last night. Eve had happened to journey out to Plano, and old friend Clinton called with $75 tickets to see Depeche Mode. Needless to say, we enjoyed our terrific ice creams and hit the road on the way to a fabulous 80s dance party/concert.

The Mystery Friend

This is a condundrum for the ages. Everyone has at least one friend that they do not understand how they are friends with. Maybe this person has completely different interests, or you share no mutual friends, or he eats chicken like a savage off a lunch tray. I don't know. But you have one, and I will never understand the basis for this.

Typically, the mystery friend (MF) starts off as an inocuous acquantinance. For instance, said MF could be the roommate of a friend in college. As freshmen often do, roommates will accompany each other to social events. This is a pathway that could lead you to your MF. Say real friend (RF) brings MF to a party. MF may have a good time and prove to be a socialble person, in which case RF will invite MF to the next get-together. After two pleasant times, it's safe to say that a bond could be formed. Soon the mystery friendship will be cemented by what I like to call the Turning Point (TP).

After MF has joined RF to a number of outings, it is accepted that MF is a part of the crew, and soon the TP will occur. The TP is the first time that MF hangs out without the presence of RF. Just like that MF has formed a real friendship with you, and you didn't even see it coming. In fact, it is usually not till sometime in the future until you realize how bizarre it is that you are friends with this person.

Often times, your MF could be your best friend. This is a somewhat commonplace occurence. You just get so used to hanging out, that the next thing you know you are amazed about who your best friend is. Needless to say, having a MF is not a bad thing, it's just very strange. It is easy to look at people and say, "I could see them being friends." And that is usually the case with friends, but in the MF situation that dynamic is completely thrown out the window.

I don't think that anyone will ever understand the Mystery Friend paradox, but it is indeed a pickle. Think about it, and you will surely be able to think of at least one friend that you have no idea how you are friends.

Here is a Helpful Hint

There is no one better to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with than a Bulgarian, indie-rocking girlfriend. Good luck finding one, because I have the best.

Trey Means 3 (Kind Of)

Three things I don't like:

1. Being cold.
2. Blog comment spam.
   
3. When my girlfriend is sad.

Three things I do like:

1. Being open with emotions.
   
2. Unexpected lunch dates.
   
3. Cheering up my girlfriend.

Three favorite cold weather albums:

1. Arcade Fire - Funeral
2. the Strokes - Room on Fire
3. the Walkmen - Bows + Arrows

Three albums I have been listening to a lot lately:

1. Architecture in Helsinki - In Case We Die
2. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Howl
3. Animal Collective - Feel

Three things I'm looking forward to tomorrow:

1. Seeing my girlfriend.
2. Seeing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
3. Rocking with Tyler.

Three things I did today:

1. Went to Subway with my boo.
2. Recorded cover songs on my 4 track.
3. Played basketball.

Things I do when I'm lonely:

1. Pout.
   
2. Listen to "Cactus" by the Pixies.
3. Read the most reassuring text messages that I have saved.

Three songs in my head a lot lately:

1. "Wake Up" - Arcade Fire
2. "Ain't No Easy Way" - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
3. "Naive Melody (This Must Be the Place)" - Talking Heads

Three palindromes:

1. Racecar
2. Trash Tim Smith's Art
3. Eve damned eden mad Eve

Three things I will be excited for this weekend:

1. Plano vs. Tolono (Unity), class 3A semifinal football game.
2. No Saturday work.
3. Bears game.

Three colors:

1. Orange
2. Burgundy
3. Green

Three things I will do before I go to bed:

1. Look at the internet.
2. Watch some of Stop Making Sense.
3. Read.
   

Good Week So Far

As of yet, this week has been as good is it could have been given the circumstances. Sure I can't see my boo as often as I'd like, but I did see her Saturday and I'll get to see her on Thursday at the latest. The reason I will see her Thursday is that I just ordered us tickets to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, so that's the bomb. Also, Tyler and I have just commenced Feedback Whales sessions, and Ben will be home soon to enhance the rockitude. We've been working out some Arcade Fire, Pearl Jam, Neil Young, and Pixies songs. Needless to say, we've been getting some serious rock sauce flowing. So for a week where nothing outstanding has happened, it hasn't been too bad.

I Don't Hate You, I Just Hate What You Did

Remember a few posts ago when I was wicked excited for the Pitchfork fest featuring Wolf Parade on New Years? Turns out the putzes over at Pitchfork decided to make this a 21 and over event because they think the less than 21 crowd can't appreciate the glorious indie stylings of Wolf Parade. Needless to say, I'm not going and I'm not happy. I refuse to spend the evening away from the thing that saved my 2005, my boo. She is great. No, she's better than great. She's grood -- a combination of great and good. Thinking about her makes me less mad about the fact that Pitchfork is a bunch of idiots on this subject. So instead of Canadian rock-n-roll, her and I will now devise an even more rocking plan to show those jerks who the real indie rock royalty are.

I love her, man!

Be More Awesome

Though I had to work for the 9th straight weekend (no exaggeration), said weekend turned out to be pretty decent. Friday night was, of course, brutal. It seems that my class that is titled Communication Strategies for Healthcare Professionals should really be titled People Complaining About Doctors. In other words, not the ideal way to spend four hours on a Friday night. Saturday, after work, I attended what was easily the most important football game in the last 25 years for Plano. Against the Wilmington Yellowhammers1, the Reapers came out victorious thanks to two Nick Nasti touchdowns, but more importantly, the best defense I have ever seen a high school football team play. I am completely serious when I say that playing that way on defense could win Plano a state title, but we shall see. Sunday, a slow day at work, was made fantastic because I got to see my boo2 for the first time since Wednesday. We attended Saw 2 then enjoyed soup, jokes, and a small kid falling out of a chair at Panera Bread. Saw 2 was better in every aspect than the first installment. The situations, acting, gore, and production far surpassed both my expectations and the memories of the first part. And the Bears won. All in all, a good weekend.

Here are some stories:

• Pitchfork interview with Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
• Alex Blagg and the New Sincerity movement. Actually appreciating things for their awesomeness? I'm all for that.
• Pitchfork stuff involving R. Kelly's "Trapped In a Closet." I obviously cannot pass this up.

So yes, you should read those things. I have been impressed with Pitchfork's features lately which is nice because for a while they wrote about a lot of stuff I could care less about. More importantly, the New Sincerity movement needs to really take off. I've been lamenting my dissatisfaction with the proliferation of irony for some time, and if this gets people to finally start appreciating things that are actually awesome then that is ... awesome.

1. Yellowhammers is a derogatory term that refers to the rampant inbreeding that took place in Wilmington in the 1950s and likely continues to this day.
2. Complete with terrific new haircut!

My Lips Are Sealed

My life has had nothing outstanding happen lately. This is not bad. It just is.

Plano is doing well in their football season, they face the inbred Wilmington Wildcats this Saturday night at 7 pm. I will cheer for them, but not like my sister. She is a cheerleader. Therefore her cheering will be far more structured and far less humourous.

Due to this game, my classes, her classes, her work, my work, the construct of time, highways, and of course, the necessity of sleep, I will not be seeing my boo until Sunday evening. This is too long of a time. Nonetheless, we will see Saw 2 because we both heard it is fairly gory and seem to enjoy that sort of thing. Hopefully the acting isn't as comically bad as the ending from the previous installment was.

Lately I have been listening to not new music that I haven't ever really devoted a lot of time to. The latest releases by Sleater-Kinney (The Woods, 2005), TV on the Radio (Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes, 2004), and Sonic Youth (Sonic Nurse, 2004) have been the recent choices. These are all very good, but with the exception of TV on the Radio, I hadn't listened to them the whole way through. Furthermore, like usual I have been listening to the Talking Heads a bunch. They are a truly great bands, and easily one of my top 5 ever. While I was listening and reading the liner notes to Sand in the Vaseline last night, my mom came in during "Psycho Killer." She immediately started dancing in what can only be described as a combination of Ian Curtis and the way the kids dance in Charlie Brown. Needless to say, it was awesome.

"When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed."
--David Byrne "Psycho Killer"

New Years Eva

Is there anything better than when things just work out the right way?

Ever since we saw their average performance opening up for the Arcade Fire, me and boo have been saying we would like to see Wolf Parade again, but when they are the main act. To our mutual delight, Pitchfork will be hosting easily my second favorite Montreal based indie rock band.

In the words of Kip Dynamite, that's what I'm talking about. So as 2006 begins, I will be rocking to the art-rock of a band of the lupine persuasion who I greatly adore.

DOBRE! URAH!

Checkitoutcheckitoutcheckitout

I have a new internet thing that I really like. Thanks to this Pitchfork article, I have begun working my way through the archives of the web comic Questionable Content. Basically, it's the story of an indie rock romance1. It's filled with little inside jokes that fans of indie rock will get, but it's also just plain funny so that regular audiences will enjoy it too. The whole archive is free, as are the new strips, so there really isn't any reason why you shouldn't check it out. I would suggest that you do start at the beginning though, as there seems to be a lot of ongoing storylines. Just last night, I began at the start and read through number 120, and I must say it's highly enjoyable. Not only is it edgier than syndicated columns, it seems tailored to things I like; namely indie rock, romance, sarcasm, and robots. So if you like any, or all four, of those things do as Bubz from Homestarrunner says and checkitoutcheckitoutcheckitout.

1. My favorite kind!

New York Cares

From C at Scatter O' Light:

"trey over at the blowtorch has just posted a song he recorded as codename:Luxury. it's called the name of this song is talking heads, and the boy indeed has a bit of a manic david byrne vibe thing working. i must warn you that we are pretty sure trey is from the chicago area, but we suggest you listen to this track and maybe you too might learn to hate chicago a little less."

So I guess that means I'm obviously on my way to international stardom. So if you were wise, you'd go download the song.

I do feel I should mention that Chicago does not suck. And that rather, it is pretty sweet. But it will never be as indie as Plano.

GO SOX!!!!

I can't believe it, the White Sox JUST WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!! I am so ecstatic!! After 88 years, we, as the city of Chicago, can celebrate!

You see, I'm from Chicago. Where the World Champion White Sox are from!!! Well not really, I'm from Lemont, which is a suburb. But it's close!!!

I'm so excited I can hardly type. I've been a Sox fan for basically my whole life. I guess not actually a Sox fan per se, but a city of Chicago fan and why shouldn't I celebrate??!!? Sure I cheered for the Cubs in their magical 2003 season (I still can't believe Bartman messed it up for us), but the Sox are from Chicago and so are the Cubs. And since I live kind of close to Chicago, I cheer for both!! Pretty much I just watch the playoffs, and if either Chicago team is in it I root for them. Except last year, when neither Chicago team made it. Don't worry though, I found someone to root for. The Boston Red Sox, baby! They won the World Series after 86 long, strenuous years on us fans. But I could not believe how happy I was for them. I even bought a hat!!

But you know what I'm going to do with that hat?? NO, I'm not going to burn it! Are you crazy? It's an official New Era that I bought from Lids. I spent like 25 bucks on it so I'll just put it in my closet. And replacing it on my head? That's right, my new hat.

The World Champion Chicago White Sox hat!!!!

I already have the one from just getting to the World Series, but you know I'm going to the mall tomorrow to by the new one!! I'm just such a big Chicago fan that I couldn't not buy it.

I mean this is easily the happiest I've been for a sports team since the Patriots won the Super Bowl in January. 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, they're a virtual dynasty how could you not root for them?

Then again my Bears are looking good right now too. First place in the NFC North!!!

--A Loyal Chicago Fan

I'm Kind of Tired

I'm tired. From not sleeping a lot. From sleeping too much. From doing med school and graduate school applications and writing personal statements. From writing excellent, dance-y rock songs about a special boo. Just a little sleepy. I believe I'll have a nap later.

As for tonight, after class I plan to begin the recording of a new song that definitely has the word "pirate" in the lyrics. Hopefully it'll be good.

But here are 2 stories I was suprised, but not surprised to see on the front page of ESPN.com:

• Air Force football coach: "Afro-American kids can run very, very well."
• Sheryl Swoops is a lesbian.

I would seem like these are two pretty big stories in the realm of sports. On one hand, you have a coach who is saying things that got people fired in the 1970s when a little bigotry was viewed as "from a different time;" and on the other hand you have a reigning MVP, the top of her sport coming out. But today, as me and my dad listened to talk radio, for at least 2 hours they only talked about how the White Sox seemed to be "magic." You might think that two stories which could affect the sporting culture would at least warrant mention on a sports program, but then you'd be wrong. To be fair, we didn't listen to the whole program, but we listened to parts over 2 hours and they only talked about the World Series. Yes, being near Chicago means that the Sox probably winning the World Series is a justifiably huge deal, but they should at least mention these two stories. Oh sports radio, you're so silly sometimes.

codename:Luxury - "The Name of This Song is Talking Heads"

If you want to listen to a song I made go here. It is named "The Name of This Song is Talking Heads" for a reason. A reason that should be quite apparent as you listen to it. But if somehow you don't understand, I am trying to acknowledge the fact that it is a total Talking Heads ripoff1.

1. Also ripped off: Wolf Parade, Bloc Party, and Interpol
   

4 Word Reviews

I have been listening to a lot of new music lately, but I haven't written about it recently. This may be because I am lazy with updates or something. But in an unabashed ripoff of Coolfer.com here are some four word reviews of what I've been listening to:

• Devendra Banhart - Cripple Crow - really good, new folk
• Bell Orchestre - Recording a Tape the Colour of Light - sleepy, dreamy instrumental soundscapes
• the Strokes - "15 Minutes of Pain" - worst of the leaks
• Iron and Wine/Calexico - In His Reins EP - if country music rocked
• Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "Satan Said Dance," "You and Me Watson," "Cigarettes,'' "Graceful Retreat" - new songs, not bad
• codename : Luxury - "The Name of This Song is Talking Heads" - I made this song

So that's what been in the rotation for Tots the Pod as of late. I also actually bought the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah album from my local independent record store. It sounds really good compared to some of the mp3s I had, and it comes with lyrics which are a great deal of help as any one who has listened to CYHSY can attest to. Enjoy.

2 Quick Things

1. I have offically began work in earnest on Rock-n-Roll American, the debut LP from codename:Luxury. It will be released on my record label, Karl Varvan Records. I hope to have it finished and ready for distribution by my birthday (February 19).
2. Tommy Poro and I are batting around the idea of starting a magazine. This magazine would be a music and culture magazine with an emphasis on the Chicago scene. If you would like to be involved in anyway with this magazine let me know. Whether it be writing, reviewing, illustrations, financial or technical advising, or anything else of creative capacity your help would be greatly appreciated. Of course, you need not be from Chicago (I'm not) -- or even Illinois, thanks to the Internet -- to be a part of it.
   

Selling Out

Selling out is, has been, and will always be a huge bone of contention in the music world. In general, artists are considered to have "sold out" when they lend their song to a commercial product for advertising (and assumed monetary compensation).

In the past, I have, like most people, viewed selling out negatively. But recently, I have become pretty much ok with it. This article just about captures my thoughts on the subject. It describes the three different situations that are typically associated with selling out. The first being the most common, that an artist's song is used for advertising and commercial gain. It's interesting that this is becoming more prevalent in the indie society (i.e. M.I.A.'s 'Galang' in a Honda Civic commercial). This is of virtually no concern to me anymore. I do not necessarily like that songs that I like are becoming more widespread, but I figure, it's not that bad that more people are exposed to really good music. The second part of this scenario is that the artist is receiving some sum of money for their work. I don't mind this too much, as it allows me to not feel bad about pirating their music. And really, what is the difference between that and Dali being commissioned for his paintings?

The part of selling out that I do have a problem with is when a musician severely changes their aesthetic to sell more records. The above article says that they should not be blamed for having more expansive budgets and thus better production values. But I disagree with this. An example is Wolf Parade who had a greatly increased budget for the recording of their debut LP Apologies to the Queen Mary. Their first EP's were very messy, but the cleaned up sound of the LP does not strip away anything from the band's music. But often times, a band will completely alter their sound in order to be more radio-friendly. And this is of more concern to me than leasing a song to a commercial.

I think the reason that people (myself included) have a hard time with hearing their favorite artists giving away songs is that they hold these songs close to them. The increased exposure that commercial success brings steals the sense of exclusivity away that the listener had previously enjoyed. It is unavoidable that artists will want to make money from their work, and this is both justifiable and advantageous. If they did not receive some sort of compensation, the artist would not be able to devote themselves to exploring their craft. Therefore, when an artist can be freed to pursue what they want, the listener will benefit.

In summary, I do not necessarily like that a band will give its songs away, but since it happens, I can be ok with it. And as long as a musician maintains their own creative control, (and not that of record company suits who encourage more accessible music) the process of signing to a major label is also not that troubling. In reality, many independent labels are just subsidiaries of major labels anyways. Nonetheless, a band like Clap Your Hands Say Yeah shows that you don't need any label to be a success. But regardless, the thing that musicians need to do is to focus solely on making quality music, and not simply "making it." If they do that, then good things will happen.

The School System Has Failed Us

I just think that I need to point out that roughly 90% of my acquaintances misspell the various forms of your (you're) and their (there, they're). Nonetheless, this is why my friends are the best.

Update

I just lost someone very close to me and thought I was losing somebody else very close to me. I'm very sad, but things won't happen like the last time.

And today, I helped save a woman's life. For the first time, I did CPR and it worked.

Groundbreaking News!!

R. Kelly's "Trapped in a Closet" music video series will be released on DVD November 1st. There will be additional 'chapters,' deleted scenes, and best of all, a running commentary from the man himself.

This Beard's for You

I'm just going to come out and say it.

I like beards.

Though I have never truly tried one out, I think that goatees look pretty dumb on me. But since it is widely known that I have exquisite facial hair, something had to be done. Ergo, a beard. It has now been roughly 4 weeks since I last shaved my face, and the only thing that has prevented a forest fire upon it was a necessary trim.

It may be preposterous to be proclaiming the greatness of beards at such a young age, especially when compared to the wealth of great beards to be found on the old men of the world. In fact, if one were looking for the prime example of a beard they would surely not look to the relatively youthful. I estimate the ratio of bearded men is roughly 10:1, old men to young. Nonetheless, I feel that those of us with the ability to grow effective beards while young, should1. Furthermore, you only need look as far as many of the greatest men in the history of the world to see some beards. Abraham Lincoln, bearded. John Lennon and Paul McCartney2, sported beards at one time or another. And of course, Jesus was likely bearded. Needless to say, that's a pretty prestigious list based solely on facial hair growth.

As for my personal reasons for keeping my beard, I've gotten mostly positive reviews. Plus I like it a lot. It has been called sweet, awesome, and sexy. And if you're looking for compliments you can't really do better than those three. So that being said, the beard is sticking around for a little while.

1. Of my friends, I assume the following can grow substantial beards: Joe Reischl, Pat Murphy, Bryan Acevedo.
2. George Harrison and Ringo Starr also had beards periodically, but they don't have as much cultural significance as the big two.

The Life Aquatic

Here are two stories that I feel I have to mention before I get to the Arcade Fire greatness:

• Scientists took pictures of a giant squid in it's own environment for the first time ever. The thing is huge and awesome.
• Pirates still exist!

Moving on...

The Arcade Fire was amazing last night, no surprise. We missed Bell Orchestre because when it rains people are shocked and forget how to drive. Would have liked to have seen them, but oh well, I'll pirate their music either way. Ergo, we made it in to the Riv just in time to hear Wolf Parade begin. Much to my chagrin, but not surprise, Wolf Parade was mediocre. Similar to the Bloc Party show, they sounded good but something was missing. Nice to see them and I would see them again to give them a second chance, but I was not overly impressed. And then the Arcade Fire took the stage and showed why they are the best live show going. I normally abhor people singing along loudly, but at a show like this its totally inevitable. In fact, I'm pretty surprised I can talk right now. However, me and Girlfriend have a strange ability to be in close proximity to both annoying drunk broads and guys who dance really weird and are most certainly gay. Nonetheless, the show was out of this world and I still can't really hear that great out of my left ear. In a good way. Here is the setlist for those who care:

• Wake Up (with a Bob Dylan - 'A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall' intro, fitting considering the weather)
• Neighborhood #2 (Laika)
• Headlights Look Like Diamonds
• Haiti
• I'm Sleeping in a Submarine
• 5 Years (David Bowie cover)
• Neighborhood #4 (7 Kettles)
• Crown of Love
• Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
• Neighborhood #3 (Power's Out)
• Rebellion (Lies)
• No Cars Go *encore
• In the Backseat *encore

It is awesome to me that they can change up the order of the songs when compared to the album because they flow so perfectly on it, but they lose nothing when played live and out of normal sequence. After the show there was a fair amount of craziness. As I waited in line for the Wolf Parade vinyl, Richard Reed Parry (multi-instrumentalist from AF) came and was talking to some dude. Then this kid tries to re-enter1 and this huge security jerk chokes him out and takes him down to the floor. I would imagine this kid was at biggest 5'11" and 160 lbs. and no more than 18 years old. Nonetheless, the security needlessly takes him down and everybody watched and was really confused. It was just a strange sequence of events and completely unneccessary. After that all happened and I bought my record I went and had this lengthy conversation with Richard:

• TK: You guys were amazing.
• RRP: Thanks.

It should be noted that he looks almost exactly like Napoleon Dynamite2. All in all, it was a terrific show and Arcade Fire have been elevated to the list of bands I will try and see every time they come back to Chicago3,4.

1. He 'just wanted to buy a t-shirt." And, his 'dad knows the guy who owns [the Riv]."
2. And he was wearing a shirt that I am almost certain came from H&M as I considered buying it earlier in the day.
3. This list is now two bands long: The Strokes and the Arcade Fire, and possibly Four Tet.
4. However, AF will not be back soon. According to the lead singer they're not coming back until they have 1 million new songs.

You Know How I Know You're Gay? You Listen to Coldplay

As promised, Part 2 of Klosterman and the Sports Guy is up over at ESPN.com. There is a lot more about music in this half. And yes, Klosterman does rip on Coldplay again1.

What was that I was supposed to do tonight? Oh yeah, go enjoy Arcade Fire supported by Wolf Parade and Bell Orchestre. Show review sometime this week. Suckers.

1. As he rightfully should.
   

Read This

My favorite sports writer (the Sports Guy) and my favorite music writer (Chuck Klosterman) go back and forth via email. It's definitely entertaining, and part 2 will be up tomorrow.

I'm So Excited and I Just Can't Hide It

Tomorrow Girlfriend and I will be venturing in to the White City to enjoy the musical stylings of Bell Orchestre, Wolf Parade and the Arcade Fire. Needless to say, I am desperately counting the hours until I am in pure auditory bliss. Most people will remember that Funeral was my album of the year for 2004 (it was also Pitchfork's1), and at least one person will vouch for me that Apologies to the Queen Mary - Wolf Parade's debut - is in the running for my 2005 top spot. Futhermore, the Arcade Fire show I saw at Lollapalooza this summer was the best live performance I have ever witnessed2. Those things being said, Wednesday's show should be off the hook, as they say.

However, the purpose of this post is to celebrate the official release of Apologies to the Queen Mary3. It is an amazing record throughout. Very reminiscent of both the Arcade Fire and Modest Mouse. Of course, that fact will be mentioned in every single one of the glowing reviews that are popping up all over the internets4. And here are three of those glowing reviews, along with one for their excellent EP:

• Pitchfork
• Stylus Magazine
• Tiny Mix Tapes
• EP: Pitchfork

They seem to be a rowdy bunch on record so I'm hoping for the same live. If they can reproduce the energy that they captured on record, the show should be amazing because Arcade Fire will undoubtedly bring the goods5.

1. Though Pitchfork reviews do not influence my thoughts on music (and are typically pretentious), it is nice to know that someone else agrees with your thoughts.
2. The second picture of this concert review explains everything you need to know about an Arcade Fire show.
3. I have had the pleasure of enjoying this album for about a month and a half thanks to a charitable donation by my boo.
4. Of note: Wolf Parade has opened for the Arcade Fire and sometimes shares members with the band. Modest Mouse's Isaac Brock produced much of Apologies to the Queen Mary. You will find those facts in all of the above reviews.
5. Supposedly, Bell Orchestre (an Arcade Fire offshoot) is pretty good too. Here is yet another review to enjoy.
   

Standing in a Light Field

The new Strokes (probable) single, Juicebox, leaked. I really, really like it. It's not my favorite Strokes song, and probably not in the top 10; but it's totally different (which is nice) than anything else they've done. If this is indicative of First Impressions of Earth then I am going to be really happy. A lot of things I read have said that this owes a debt to Casablancas' early love of Pearl Jam but it reminds me more of 'Planet of Sound' by the Pixies (which is also a terrific song).

Here are a couple of places to download it from, courtesy of Stereogum.com:

• Rapidshare
• YouSendIt

Enjoy!

I'm a Business, Man

I'm working on a few things because I'm very important. One part of the preceding sentence is not true. It's the important part. Anyhow, here's what I'm working on:

• songs, of course
• 2 incredibly important mixes (one due soon, the other not so soon)
• cleaning my room (by tomorrow)
• establishing an immaculate vinyl collection (steps will be taken tomorrow)

Nothing terribly important, but whatevs, it's important to me. And thats all that matters, right?

Right?

The Pocket DJ

If you were smart, you'd consider buying Ultragrrrl's book today. I am.

Wise.

And going to buy it.

100th Post

As you can see, this is my 100th post. So here are the first 100 things I think of:

1. It's going to take a long time to type out 100 things.
2. Especially if I keep spelling "going" as "giong."
3. I don't really like the Houston rap scene, but the song on Kanye West's album ('Drive Slow') is pretty good.
4. I listened to 'Golddigger' three times on the radio yesterday with my mom, sister and boo. My mom turned it up loud every time.
5. 'Golddigger' is really fun to listen to with three girls.
6. My cat Foo is fat.
7. She would look hilarious with a mohawk.
8. I can't believe I have at least 2 white beard hairs, but I guess they match my white chest hair.
9. I'll probably be complelely grey by 38.
10. Little Debbie's are tasty.
11. My beard gets itchy sometimes.
12. I like when some people say 'scratchy' instead of 'itchy.'
13. Today is my 7/12ths birthday.
14. What are eye crusties made of?
15. My mom (and therefore, my whole family) calls eye crusties 'sleep?' i.e. You have sleep in your eyes.
16. The Orbit at Great America is still very fun even though I fit horribly in it.
17. I finally exceeded a ride height restriction at Great America, but I still went on the ride. Not terribly comfortable.
18. I like my boo's pink shirt.
19. I need to trim my chest hair. White one included.
20. It looks like a nice day outside today. I hope it is.
21. I have a test tonight, but I'd much rather watch the football games.
22. If the Saints won the Super Bowl, that would be pretty awesome.
23. My text-messaging can be a little suspect sometimes.
    
24. My shoulders are kind of sore.
25. As is my back.
26. Brody Dalle and Josh Homme are a VERY rock and roll couple.
27. They also both have rogue 'E's at the end of their last names.
28. I like the word 'rogue' as an adjective.
29. My teeth need a brushing after the Fancy Cakes I just ate.
30. I don't know why they are called Fancy Cakes.
31. I have to study for a test today.
32. I'll probably take a nap first though.
33. I also need a shower, fo shizzle.
34. My mom thinks Snoop Dogg is ugly, but I always tell people she loves him.
35. Cucumbers are weird when they aren't thinly sliced for sandwich placement.
36. 100 is a lot!
37. I wonder what Hansen did Saturday night after we left.
38. I like tuna sandwiches.
39. My sister made really good strawberry jam.
40. I may enjoy a peanut butter and Mackenzie Kerby strawberry jam sandwich later.
41. I've never seen the light patch of hair on my head really. Because it's on the back of my head.
42. My mom says it looks like a Nike swoosh.
    
43. From what I've seen in the mirror, I disagree.
44. I'm surprised Nike hasn't branded hair cuts.
45. Branded leads to Marlon Brando.
46. Marlon Brando leads to the Godfather.
47. The Godfather is my favorite movie of all time.
48. Part Two is really good too.
49. Part Three, not so much.
50. What exactly does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?
51. I bet it isn't too great.
52. More than 1/2 way done.
53. If anyone actually reads all of these I'll be pleasantly surprised.
54. And impressed.
55. I don't really care though because I like blogging.
56. I like the word blogging.
57. Blogging.
58. I often misspell the word 'blog' as 'bliog.'
59. 'Bliog' sounds like a Snoop word for 'blog.'
60. There were 7 instances of 'blog' in the previous four thoughts.
61. Four Tet.
62. Intonation festival.
63. the Revolution.
64. Jerry Poro
65. It's amazing how the human mind works.
66. I like that feeling you get on rides where your stomach falls out.
67. My mom and sis call that the 'tudelo drop.'
68. That sounds both racy and comical.
69. Racy is a funny word to see on a screen.
70. My feet are hot.
71. And a little bit in pain.
72. Yes, I will allow comments on this post.
73. I hope the MTV Battlegrounds streetball thing is good.
74. I also hope that the Chicago team wins it.
75. My knuckles are crackity.
76. Crack, crack, crackity Jones.
77. I love the Pixies.
78. I can't wait for Arcade Fire.
79. Or Wolf Parade.
80. And I expect that Bell(e?) Orchestra will be pretty good.
81. I like playing the drums on my legs or the legs of those around me.
82. I do not like the Nick LoGalbo X-Treme Leg Squeeze that happens when something bad happens while he plays video games.
83. X-Treme Carl is an awesome nickname.
84. Almost finished with the 100.
85. It has taken 21 minutes thus far.
86. Thus seems like such an old-fashioned word.
87. Now that I'm done fretting about what to do with the 100th post I can go back to regular posting.
88. I can't think of anything.
89. That's not good because I need 10 more thoughts.
90. If I don't get an A on this test tonight I'm an idiot.
91. Anatomy was one of my top 5 favorite classes at BU.
92. I like Patty Pascoe as a teacher too.
93. I like to make top 5 lists.
94. Possibly because of High Fidelity.
95. Jack Black is usually funny.
96. Shallow Hal is the exception.
97. Proper grammatical formatting makes things look more well done.
98. Jack Black didn't have a beard or long hair in Shallow Hall or Envy, two of his worst movies. Coincidence? I think not.
99. His real name can't be Jack Black.
100. Finally, finished!

Thanks for indulging that vain exercise, but I felt I needed to do something 100 related for the 100th Blowtorch post.

Here's Some Answers to Some Questions

I know I'm not the only one who has pondered these conundrums:

• Why is gas priced to nine-tenths of a cent?
• What is the difference between i.e. and e.g.?
• Can you really redeem coupons for the miniscule fraction of a dollar they are supposedly worth?
• Where can I buy an island?
• Why do record companies release artist albums on Tuesdays?
• What was in the briefcase from Pulp Fiction?
• What's Scientology all about? 1
• Has anyone ever tried putting on a costume to be a real superhero?
• What does the "YKK" on zippers stand for?
• What kind of creature is Grimace from McDonald's?
• Why is the snooze function on alarm clocks always set to nine-minute intervals?
• What color do they put on driver's licenses for people who've dyed their hair blue, green, etc.?
• How can I become an FBI Special Agent?
• What is the meaning of life? 2

Click through for the "answers."

1. I fear that I will now be contacted by Tom Cruise and his cohorts. If I suddenly go missing, please call my mother.
2. Forty-two?

Just for the Record

Meeting Nick Valensi in no way compares to seeing L.C.D. Soundsytem and M.I.A. in concert. I think that point needed clarifying.

Bloc Rockin Beats

Ok.

So.

Last night, me and boo went to Bloc Party (see below, duhvs). On a whole the show was good. The first band, the Noisettes, were just that. A really loud band with a girl lead singer. Who was black. And who Zach said looked like the girl from 28 Days Later. Whatever. Next on the bill was the Kills, who were also eh. Kind of had a Raveonettes thing going on, but far creepier. Zach, once again in scary movie mode, concluded that their lead singer looked like Samara from The Ring movies. He, of course, was right on both charges1.

Then was the main course, Bloc Party. Since most of the reviews I had read said that they weren't nearly as good live as they are on record (and Silent Alarm is really, really good -- like Top 10 of 2005 good), we were a little worried that they would be underwhelming. This wasn't true, but then again, they weren't overwhelming. I guess they were simply whelming. The show was highlighted by the following things: a Michael Jordan jersey, a strangely gay-dancing man in front of us, and a girl who quite obviously didn't fit in so instead got wasted and yelled constantly (not to mention jump like an idiot, needless to say, me and her are not friends). According to Kele (the lead singer who I had no idea was black upon first listen) pretty much the whole band was sick, but then again we couldn't understand anything the guys on stage were saying due to thick Cockney accents. Sure the acoustics of the Congress theatre could have been better, sure Kele can't really sing (but everyone already knows that), sure they can't exactly replicate the songs from the album but they were just good. Not transcendent (like Arcade Fire or Pixies at Lollapalooza2), but good. It wasn't one of those shows that makes you want to listen to a band non-stop or elevates a band to a higher status in your brain, but it certainly was enjoyable. Also, the trip home was my all-time favorite from .... ANY. EVENT. EVER. Hopefully, that success can be trumped on trip home from Arcade Fire on September 28, 2005 the year of our Lord.

1. Also on the Zach tip, his girlfriend indeed wear a hat as predicted in my concert preview.
2. Or even the Strokes the first time I saw them; which little to our knowledge would be the first time Eve and I shared the same room. Of course this fact wasn't discovered until roughly 2 years later, but still that further enhances one of my top 5 concert experiences ever. But I got to meet Nick V. after the show and she didn't and I'm typing this simply to remind her of that fact. Also, I should bring up that I own Is This It? on vinyl.

I'm Going to Bloc Party Like It's My Birthday

Tonight I'm seeing Bloc Party (along with the Noisettes and the Kills) with my boo. Whilst at the show, we're meeting Zach and his girlfriend. I know nothing about Zach's girlfriend except that she is 19 years old and likes to wear hats. I hope there is evidence that supports both of those claims tonight.

I'm So Happy, Oh So Happy, Then Again, I'm Always Sad

I like caring about someone.

These are a few of my favorite things

T-shirt: West Coast Video

New Cereal Invention: Dr. Chocoberry (1/2 Count Chocula, 1/2 Franken Berry, milk)

Song (at the moment): 'Where is My Mind?' - Pixies

Athletic Teams:

• Baseball: Atlanta Braves
• Football: Chicago Bears
• Basketball: Chicago Bulls
• Collegiate Sports: University of Michigan

Color: Orange

Number: 2

Food to Eat for Lunch at Work: Tuna salad on toasted wheat bread with lettuce and French dressing

Band (alltime): the Beatles

Band (current): the Strokes

Shoes (model): Converse All-Stars High

Shoes (specific): Nike Air Jordan XI

Actress: Uma Thurman

Movie: The Godfather

Movie Starring Uma Thurman: Pulp Fiction

Pillow: Orange feather one

That is all for now.

Trey Kerby Likes Football

Last night Andrew, Mike Schmitt, Billy the Kid, and I went to the Plano-Sandwich rivalry game (along with my mom, cousin, and her husband). Per usual, we sported various Trey Kerby jerseys and then went to Brother's Restaurant -- Home of the Beef Roll1. I'm now convinced that Andrew must be a good luck charm since Plano has beat Sandwich in the two consecutive years he has attended the game. Nick Nasti was his usual self, rushing for 203 yards and two touchdowns, along with an interception. My mom even commented that "she likes watching him run, because he has people hanging all over him." She obviously is a football mastermind.
This has been a long and rambling introduction, so now I'll get to the point, which you may have guessed from the title. I like football. Watching it, playing it, and playing video games which simulate it, pretty much whatever. That's one of the reasons I really like my job come fall time. On Saturdays, when work is slow I get to watch the college football games (Michigan vs. Notre Dame right now) and then come Sundays the NFL is on. It surely helps pass the time on the slow days, like today.
Michigan just threw an interception, so I'm not too happy about that. Must go watch.

1. We also decided that we would open a restaurant called Stepbrother's that will serve all food in roll form. The menu would be similar to that of any dive restaurant, but with rolls galore. Steak roll, tuna salad roll, broiled halibut steak roll, etc.

I Wish My Brain Worked Like Everyone Else's

Here are a few things that I legitimately worry about for no good reason:

• That I am constantly getting a flat tire while driving
• Identity theft
• Being the victim of a senseless killing
• That I'm not that good-looking
• What I will die from
• What has the ability to potentially kill me (i.e. could accidentally running my foot over with the lawnmower result in such a substantial amount of blood loss that I could die?)
• That based on deep enjoyment of Wolf Parade's Apologies to the Queen Mary (courtesy of my boo) I will be disappointed by their live performance on September 28th.
• That there is a severe lack of Wolf Parade information on the internet. Lyrics, biographies, and such are extremely hard to find.
• That I will be underwhelmed by Bloc Party on September 14th1.
• That The Exorcism of Emily Rose will not be as good as it could be due it's being rated PG-132.
• That I haven't tried hard enough at music, which would result in a decreased likelihood of success
• In the past year there has been two natural disasters (Katrina and the tsunami), additionally there have been 3 plane crashes (that I am aware of), two terrorist attacks in London and one in Spain, not to mention the Middle East catastrophe; the result of all this is that I worry that this is what the end of the Earth will be like, and that possibly we are experiencing it

Like I said, sometimes I wish my brain worked like everybody else's.

1. This fear is not entirely unfounded because every live review I have read regarding Bloc Party has stated that they sound much better on record due to the terrific production of their debut, Silent Alarm. Regardless, it will be a terrific show and I think they will rock really hard, but I'm just preparing myself.
2. I think that the R rating is what made both Wedding Crashers and The 40-Year Old Virgin so successful. Due to the significantly relaxed standards when compared to PG-13, the amount of crass humour they could show was increased and, therefore, much funnier. Hence, I don't think that the director of The Exorcism of Emily Rose will be able to show enough crazy stuff and that could hurt the movie. But I'm seeing it anyways, in hopes of being proved wrong.

I'm Not Mad, I'm Just Bored

My typical response to conflict isn't a good one. I usually get really worked up immediately, start thinking negative things, and then I finally wrap my head around it and am actually okay to deal with it. I may want to consider thinking logically about the problem as a first step since this would seem to alleviate some unneeded stress on my part. That being said, I had a terrific Labor Day weekend. Actually, I would imagine that it was my best Labor Day weekend ever, all things considered. I would liike to thank you in particular for that.

The End of the World

End of the World Cartoon

I don't know what brought it into my head, but the above cartoon is hilarious. I think I probably watched it roughly 415 times junior year. You owe it to me to at least check it out. Please. For your friend.

Music Television

A few random thoughts while watching music videos for the first time in months:

• Kanye West is amazing. 'Golddigger' is a terrific song and Late Registration is the best sounding rap album I've ever heard. He might not be a great rapper (maybe a bit above average in my book, but witty), but he sure has an ear for the music side of things.
• Lady Sovereign, a British grime rapper, is pretty terrific. I don't know what the odds of seeing two of her videos in the span of one day is, but I would imagine that they're pretty low. Either way, she's worthy of a midlevel celebrity crush, but I did have to make sure she was over 18 before I typed that (she is). She looks a little bit like Plano High School alum Kerin Meyer is she were way shorter and more gangsta. All you need to know about her is that she describes herself as a "white midget." Cool.
• David Banner's video for 'Play' is hilarious. Sure the song rips off both 'Drop It Like It's Hot' and'Wait (The Wisper Song)' but the video is really awesome. I'd say it rips off 'Call on Me' and 'Satisfaction' but I highly doubt David Banner is familiar with the video output of either Eric Prydz or Benny Benassi. In fact, I'm surprised that I'm familiar with their respective celluloid careers, but that's what'll happen when you're friends with a beats guy like Pat Murphy.
• That MTV commercial where the kid accidentally swallows gum then takes a huge dump seven years later is hilarious. Here's why: First, the kid is supposed to be seven years older when he's on the pot, but he mysteriously ages from 8 years of age to about 19. How hard could it have been to ask the actors their ages to make this work. And secondly, the last punchline "Don't Believe Everything You Hear" followed by a screen that says "MTV- We Don't Play Music" was perfect. Nevermind that I saw this during 'Trailer Fabulous.'
• Diddy (no P.) directing an orchestra to Notorious B.I.G. songs during the VMAs was high comedy. Leave it to Diddy to take even orchestra conducting to new heights of over-the-topness.
• Kelly Clarkson's VMA performance was the equivalent of when Justin Timberlake made the 'Cry Me a River" video (e.g.-a pop artist growing up). Before she was a cute girl who could sing. Now, she's a sexy girl who can sing. She is worthy of a lower-high level celebrity crush, though Adam would rank her higher.
  
• I saw a Bow Wow (no Lil') video. He looks like he could definitely be gay.
• Every time I see a My Chemical Romance performance or video I like them a little bit more, but for some reason I can't listen to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge all the way though. Furthermore, their lead singer looks like the love child of Jack White and Billie Joe Armstrong.
  

Hands

While at the concert Thursday night I came to the realization that indie rock doesn't really have a hand gesture. It needs it badly. Sure you could be ironic and throw the heavy metal horns, but I, for one, am getting a little tired of irony. In fact, I think earnestness isn't all so bad. ANYHOW, heavy metal has the horns, and I think they should be entirely their property since Dio invented them. Moving on, rap has the flexed-hand-move-up-and-down thing, not to mention "Throw your hands in the air, if you's a true playa." Then of course Rage Against the Machine and like-mided bands have kind of cornered the market on the fist raised in protest. But the mother of all music hand signals has to be the peace sign which of course is property of the hippies and Austin Powers. This is why I think indie rock needs some sort of hand signal. I don't know what, but it has to be fairly awesome and easy to do so all the hipsters can join in.

Q: Why do I let little things bother me?

A: Because I'm human.

Cause and Effect, or How to Have a Pretty Bad Day

Here are some causative things that have happened to me today1:

• Cause: Eating FunDip at 11:30 p.m. when you have to get up at 6 a.m2.
  Effect: Sleep terribly.
• Cause: Your early morning basketball team consists of a fat guy, a guy who has no basketball sense, and a guy who somehow makes shots that have no business going in, and yourself.
  Effect: You win zero games in the 1.5 hours you're there.
  Effect: Poor shooting because your dad guards you and he is a surprisingly good trash-talker.
  Effect: Due to teammate with no basketball sense, on the last play of the last game not only does your dad make the final shot you also get kneed in the thigh. This is due to the guy who doesn't understand pick and roll defense.
• Cause: The school that hosts the program you are trying to get in to is not well ran.
  Effect: You have to wait to register, possibly missing the class.
• Cause: A girl at your work wants to quit.
  Effect: You work 12-8:30 p.m.
• Cause: You work 12-8:30 p.m.
  Effect: You miss the majority of your sister's first football game of her senior year. Also a year that your alma mater is supposed to be competitive.
  Effect: Boss problems.
  Effect: You make money3.

Tomorrow should be somewhat better, just because I can look forward to the EVEning.

1. This was a sneakily bad day. But after an enjoyable previous night I guess you can chalk this up to the old adage, "You win some, you lose some."
2. Eating FunDip at 11:30 was terrific, but it nonetheless leaves you with a sick belly that can hurt the sleeping abilities. I believe another adage is needed here, "You made your bed, now sleep in it." At least the FunDip experience was good.
3. No one ever said that all effects have to be bad.

I'm Speechless

Understanding the Seattle Supersonics by Comparing Them to Girls You May Have Dated in College

I have nothing to add here. Wow. Awesome.

The Tots 25

Here are the 25 most played songs since I got my iPod 6 months ago:

1. Cactus - Pixies
2. I Predict a Riot - Kaiser Chiefs
3. Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) - Arcade Fire
4. The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
5. The Sound of Settling - Death Cab for Cutie
6. Over and Over Again (Lost and Found) - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
7. New Year's Eve - the Walkmen
8. Third Planet - Modest Mouse
9. Head On - Pixies
10. Very Loud - Shout Out Louds
11. Psycho Killer (Live) - Talking Heads
12. C'Mere - Interpol
13. Neighborhood #2 (Laika) - Arcade Fire
14. Song Seven - Interpol
    
15. Poor Little Rich Boy - Regina Spektor
16. Sleeping In - Postal Service
17. Cry Baby Cry - the Beatles
18. Clap Your Hands! - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
19. Decent Days and Nights - the Futureheads
20. You Might Think - the Cars
21. Next Exit - Interpol
22. Banquet - Bloc Party
23. Upon This Tidal Wave of Youngblood - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
24. Go It Alone - Beck
25. Summer Babe (Winter Version) - Pavement

It's safe to say that I was a tad obsessed with Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, but you would be too if you were trying to understand what that guy is saying.

It's My Life

I don't know why but I am seriously considering wanting to work in a boring office doing mind-numbing work. I assume the only reason this could seem remotely interesting to me is that I've been watching The Office a ton and reading Generation X. I think the idea of doing the same thing everyday is kind of interesting when if fact it should be the exact opposite. But I figure that an office job would do nothing to take from my creativity and brainpower that could be used for more important things. Like rocking.

The Hardest Part of Breaking Up is Getting Back Your Stuff

This article perfectly describes all the weird things that happen post-breakup. It's weird to read something that it seems like everyone has experienced. And as a close Inner Circle friend to someone going through it, it seems fitting.

Now I'm off to go celebrate my hiznalf birthday filled with with movies, CDs, and surprises!!

NOOOOOO!!!!

Just as I suspected, the Christopher Walken for President is a hoax. I absolutely would have voted for him, but now I can be sad that we won't have a "More Cowbell" bill.

Only In Dreams

I highly, highly doubt that this is true but I so hope it is. I can't think of anything better than having Christopher Walken as President of the United States of America. Can you imagine the possibilities? He could address New York... I mean... Kansas. Or when he finds Osama bin Laden in some foxhole (and you know he will, just watch his scene in Pulp Fiction) and tells him that he has a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell. In a world where Christopher Walken is the president, what can go wrong?

I Believe in Yesterday

Yesterday was quite the creative explosion in the realm of Trey Kerby. First, during the most pointless Organic Chemistry lecture I have ever participated in I decided that I would embark upon the production of my memoirs, an idea I had played around with as I mowed the lawn the previous night. I highly doubt that the writing of these memoirs could result in anything, but it will be fun to have my life story documented. Now all I need is a title for it (I've considered How to Become a Music Snob in 21 Years but I'm not sold on it). Next, while sneaking around with my companion Pumpkin, to my own amazement I discovered that I could transcribe music from guitar to piano. This discovery came as I rudimentally tried to figure out the intro riff from Arcade Fire's "Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)." Though I am clearly an untrained and talentless pianist I nonetheless could figure out the right notes to play. Sonatas and etudes await on the horizon. Lastly, 2/3rds of the Feedback Whales (the Trey and Tyler portions) joined forces solely to rock. Last night produced what was probably our most artful music to date. Angular guitars, splashy cymbals, a tambourine, and a little instrument switching on my part was the result of Tyler's recent obsession with the Kings of Leon and mine with the Arcade Fire. By adding a little art-rock to our classic rock tinged grunge (arnge? grart?) we wrote what is the most dynamic song we've ever written. Very reminiscent of the song the full Feedback Whales wrote last summer that featured a toy organ solo by Ben. All in all, yesterday was good to get the creative juices going just in time to have them stifled by work and school.

I Like the Beatles

I finally figured it out today why I do not listen to the Beatles as much as logic would dictate. Since they are easily my favorite band of all time, one would assume that I would listen to them far more than any other music I possess. However, this is not true. This phenomenon was first noted by the one and only Nathan Fowler following our freshman year of college. As the year was nearing it's end, Nathan commented that he thought "we'd hear a lot more Beatles and Beastie Boys this year." The Beastie Boys comment stemmed from my adoration for their 1999 masterpiece Hello Nasty that had been present since our sophomore year of high school. But the Beatles comment was more surprising to me. He was totally right. By admitting (for lack of a better word) that they were my favorite band, anyone could logically think that I would listen to them quite often but I didn't to the point where others noticed. Furthermore, I had no reason why I hadn't listened to the most influential band in the history of music. A mere three years later and I arrived at the reason.
As I was driving home from a terrific day of summer school, I arrived at the stop light by Barnes & Noble (no S!)* I was listening to "I've Got a Feeling" from Let It Be... Naked, and considered switching over to Wolf Parade's EP. However, I found myself paralyzed when it came to the ability to turn off one of my favorite songs by my favorite band. At that very instant I realized why I do not listen to the Beatles as often as one would assume. Much like the Pringles jingle -- once I start, I cannot stop. The Beatles music just will not let me turn it off easily, and this is why I don't listen to them non-stop. If I did, then I would probably completely ignore the majority of my library out of ignorance. Hence, less Beatles = more musical variety. And as everyone knows, variety is the spice of life, though Tabasco sauce is also quite tasty.

*Unbeknownst to me, at this very moment my boo was traveling behind me. I have no idea how this happened, as she had driven away from school before I had. Nonetheless, the Beatles/Wolf Parade/boo triumvirate was revisited no more than 90 minutes later when I discovered that Wolf Parade would be opening for the Arcade Fire at the September 28th show that her and I will attend together (possibly with the second most rock-n-roll couple that I know). It's strange how coincidences such as choosing the Beatles over Wolf Parade had made me completely oblivious to the surrounding traffic; traffic which contained someone who I would be attending a concert with of the band that I had just chosen over. It's kind of like that scene at the end of Ocean's Eleven where you realize that it was Brad Pitt on the phone perpetrating the heist.

Through Being Cool

I don't know if you can measure how cool someone is by looking at the stuff that their friends have of theirs, but I really wish you could. If that were the case, I'm fairly confident that I would be among the top 100 in the world for coolness. Here's what people have of mine (that I wouldn't mind getting back before I die):

• MB - Tenacious D DVD, Snatch, guitar book
• TK - Dane Cook CD and DVD, Arcade Fire, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, the Go! Team, Black Mountain, others
• JM - The Godfather trilogy
• MS - the White Album, Beastie Boys anthology, Red Hot Chili Peppers
• AO - Trey Kerby football jersey
• AH - the Killers, Franz Ferdinand, Trey Kerby baseball jersey

Obviously I've given many things away with no intention of seeking their return, but these items have to show how sweet I am. I mean, could a normal human lend out these goods without fear that their street cred would go down? I think not.

Trapped In a Closet

I saw the height of unintentional comedy last night. While scrolling through the channel guide, I stumbled upon R. Kelly's Trapped In a Closet video series. My only exposure to this had been the ridicule it received on VH1's Best Week Ever, so I was obviously intrigued.

Side note: What does VH1 stand for? Possibly Video Hits 1?

ANYWAY, the series is a group of 5 (I think) videos that tell the most confusing story of adultery, gunplay, and homosexuality ever. But the best part of the videos is that the whole story is told through the various characters mouthing the words to the R. Kelly songs. And the words have virtually no metaphoric quality to them at all. It's really something that you need to see to believe. I was literally laughing out loud the entire time, to the point where my Mom asked if I was still watching it. I replied, "Yes, I'm watching the R. Kelly, you're my Mommy," in the best R. Kelly song impersonation I could produce. And I continued to talk in this manner for the rest of the night.

I couldn't recommend anything more highly. It's so completely Murph-diculous that it's a must see. Now if I can just find the entire series of videos on the internets I can die happy.

UPDATE: This was just posted on Stereogum. Check it out, its supposed to explain the R. Kelly saga.

I Want to Go Down in Musical History

Since I will be not attending medical school this fall, and hopefully will the following fall, I have decided that this is the best time to try and actually professionally rock. If I can't get anything significant accomplished in this 1 year period, then I shall delegate rocking to strictly hobby status. That being said, I hope the rock sauce is sweet sounds to the ears of those around.

Happy Birthday

Wonderful Birthday wishes go out to Mr. Harry Potter on this last day of July 2005.

Two Quick Things That Made Me Happy at Work on Saturday

1. I turned on Bravo and Pulp Fiction was on. Not only was the movie on, but it was during the Uma dance scene, which is easily one of the sexiest scenes in movie history. When I came back later, they were at the end where Samuel L. Jackson is messing with Pumpkin and Hunny Bunny. Two terrific scenes from a movie chockful of them.
2. The surgery lady who kept requesting patients was named Eva.

A Quick Addendum

The Velvet Underground sound like black leather jackets. I forgot about that.

I've Got Clothes in Different Area Codes

Anyone who thinks about music at all knows that the most fun part is categorizing it. Especially because no one will ever agree with 100% of what you say, and you won't agree 100& with them either. That's the beauty of intelligent discourse. These things being said, I've decided that a lot of music sounds like clothes. Here are a few examples:

• Neil Young -- flannel shirts
• the Strokes -- dirty jeans
• Interpol -- single needle, tailored suits
• Bloc Party -- track jackets
• the Decemberists -- pirate gear
• Franz Ferdinand -- a fine vest

You see. It's easy, and fun.

Lollapalooza starring Trey Kerby (Day 2)

So I'm a liar. I didn't post when I said I was going to. Deal with it.

ANYWAY, Day 2 of Lollapalooza threatened to be a day that resulted in the deaths of many. Temperatures were predicted to hit triple digits. Since this was the case, me and my uncle decided to not go to the festival until 5:00ish, which is just before the Arcade Fire were scheduled to take the stage. I felt sorry for Louis XIV because I hear that they perform in leather jackets regardless of the weather. This means that they are obviously insane. And a few days after the show I heard that Tegan and Sara had to end their set early due to heat stroke. All in all, not the best weather for a 10 hour outdoor festival.
So we finally arrived at Grant Park at about 5:10 after drinking some authentic Nantucket Nectar Lemonade, which was terrific. Literally within minutes, Scott's and my legs were dripping actual drops of sweat. Nonetheless, we dutifully marched our way towards the front of the crowd to witness the supposed live spectacle that is the Arcade Fire.
It is almost impossible to describe what took place for the next 1 hour, but here are some highlights: people hitting each other in the head with drumsticks while wearing motorcycle helmets, Win Butler calling the French horn a "freedom horn," marching band drums, broken tambourines and microphone stands being thrown in to the crowd, a wrestling match between two band members, Napolean Dynamite's doppleganger, dancing, psuedo-popping and locking, cymbals being removed from stands and carried around while being used, two violinists, and of course, a xylophone. The Arcade Fire are easily the best live band that I have ever seen. They have such an amazing energy that would be even better in an indoors setting. Ultragrrrl says they "make God appear," and that's about right. See them any chance you get.
After this most amazing show, we walked by Spoon, but didn't stay instead opting to get drinks to avoid likely death. Then after our refreshments we went to see the Killers.
The Killers sounded great, but their showmanship, however, leaves a lot to be desired. This is especially surprising since Brandon Flowers proclaims that he is a huge David Bowie fan. The only similarities I see between the two is a knack for natty dressing and a love for rhinestones. Irregardless of the show, the music sounded great. But obviously they couldn't hold a candle to the Arcade Fire.
Lastly, was Death Cab for Cutie, a band that I had seen last summer. Aside from the 3 songs of theirs that I like, the show did nothing for me. In fact, the best part for me was when I accidentally sprayed a kid with water in the back of his leg. I then proceeded to look around and pretend to rock in order to avoid his wrath. Though I could obviously defeat him in a fist-fight because I'm really big and ferocious.
All in all, Lollapalooza was well worth the money and I guarantee that I will see both the Pixies and Arcade Fire in concert again soon. Most likely with someone who will appreciate the glory of glamourous indie rock-n-roll.

Lollapalooza starring Trey Kerby (Day 1)

Day 1 of Lollapalooza went perfectly. To begin, the weather, which was supposed to be sunny and 96 degrees, was instead overcast and about 80. Still pretty sweat city though. Particularly my back and forehead, as anyone familiar with my sweat patterns could imagine. ANYHOW, once we got in we went and saw the end of ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of the Dead's set, and I do have to say that they have a very fitting name. Not my kind of music, but a very intense live show with two drummers at all times. It was kind of strange to see a band like that at 2:00 in the afternoon when they're clearly a night band. We didn't stay their whole set because if you don't like their music, they really aren't that entertaining. That being said, we caught the last song of Ambulance LTD.'s show which was a cover of Neil Young's "Everyone Knows This is Nowhere." Very nice.
For the 2:30 shows we decided we might as well see the Kaiser Chiefs just for the milk of it. What a terrifically good decision. The show that these fellows put on was absolutely amazing. Between the lead singer going up on to the stage supports and then bringing up a couple of fans to sing a song, it was just a really, really good performance. Needless to say, I just finished downloading their full-length, Employment.
At 3:30 we went to the Brian Jonestown Massacre in hopes that their lead singer would freak out and do something crazy. He swore at Dashboard Confessional, but other than that it was nothing. Probably the weirdest part of the day was when I overheard Dashboard (as their strangely loving fans call them) covering Wheatus' "Teenage Dirtbag." Good song, terrible band, so I don't really know how I feel about that.
After we had a quick bite to eat, we walked by the Bravery (seemed rehearsed) and Cake (seemed like 1997) on the way to wait for Mr. Billy Idol. For a 50+ year old man, Billy Idol looked awesome. A small Chinese (I assume) guy behind me said that he wished he was gay just for Billy Idol. The show was great, especially when Billy somehow convinced God to make it rain only for "White Wedding." He also had probably the coolest entrance in the history of music too. As he was walking in, he continually said "Billy Idol is coming." Could there be a better way to announce your arrival? I submit that there can not.
Choosing to wait and stay close for the Pixies show, we pseudo-watched Primus from afar. Much to my 1996 self's chagrin, they didn't play "Winona's Big Brown Beaver."
Then it was the moment that I have been waiting for ever since I first saw Fight Club. Just after 7:30, the Pixies took the stage. Frank Black was HUGE!!! He must have been at least 250 pounds, and probably more. Everyone else looked like you would expect them to, but Frank was enormous. Somehow, he still sounded perfect, like nothing had changed. Except of course the extra 4th grader that he was now carrying around. They played every song I could have wanted, even (surprisingly) "Head On." Just a perfectly perfect show that I couldn't believe that I was actually watching. Of course their encore was "Where Is My Mind?" Simply stunning.
After seeing a band that you never thought you'd be able to see in your life, anything else is quite the letdown. That being said, Weezer sounded very good, and they didn't play too much off of their new album, thankfully.
All in all, a totally perfect day of festival. I didn't miss any bands I wanted to see, and I didn't die from heat stroke. And, oh yeah, I saw the Pixies.

Tomorrow: Day 2.

What I Learned at the Intonation Festival

• Not only was this a concert festival, but unknowingly, the formation of a new nation -- the IN-TO NATION. Had I known that I was seceding from the United States, I may have thought longer about going.
• When it comes to a discussion about bands that define my generation, the list starts and stops with Head of Femur.
• Though the first three stars on the Chicago flag represent important historical events from the city's past, the fourth (surprisingly) represents master of squelches Four Tet.
• Death from Above 1979 is awesome live, but they would be even better in a small club with working microphones and a good PA.
• If you're looking for backup dancers a good place to look is the streets of Chicago for 15 or so young black children.
  
• Andrew Bird is terrific napping music.
• A blanket is a must.
• A full back tattoo of the vertebral column could be handy in the event that you need an emergency epidural.
• I'm officially not a big fan of the effeminate male in woman's jeans look. Unless, of course, you are in a terrific rock band. Only then is it acceptable.
• Hippies love sleeping on blankets and/or playing hacky sack and/or frisbee.
• "Hava Nagila" is a welcome violin solo in my book.
• Crowd clapalongs are also welcome in said book.
• If you won't sit down when the lead singer of the Decemberists kindly asks you to, you're kind of a jerk.
• Color changing lightbulbs - cool. Clear backpack - not cool.
• New bands to download: Broken Social Scene, Andrew Bird, the Hold Steady, the Wrens, Les Savy Fav
• There is exactly one person who I would have wanted to go to this festival with. Thankfully, I was her squire.
  

Fighting 12 Year Olds

This article made me wonder the same question: How many 12 year olds could I fight off before they overtook me? Based on the assumptions in the article, I figure I could take out 9-11. This is of course assuming that they form a circle and attack. I think that as fatigue and adaptations by the 12 year olds take place, I would eventually be too tired to fight them off. Plus the groin shot factor is a scary one.
Furthermore, I agree with the original author who suggests an attack of a portion of the circle that will likely scare off any potential back-jumping heroes. Also, I think that I would be very tough in a 12 year old fight, due to my long arms and legs. I could strike them easily without them being able to get close enough to do significant damage to the family jewels. And I think that a key to defeating as many 12 year olds as possible is to stay aggressive. Not only will this likely frighten them, I doubt that they will have honed their fighting skills to the point where they can make an effective counter-attack. It's far easier to just come at somebody rather than defend yourself from a charge. Nonetheless, of all my friends I think that Adam would obviously be the best 12 year old fighter. Not only does he also have extremely arms and legs, he also has no soul.

Teefes

I know I run the risk of sounding like a bad Jerry Seinfeld, but what's the deal with dentistry? I just had my 6 month check-up and going there never ceases to weird me out. The first thing that's a little off for me is the fact that when the hygeniest or dentist is all up in your grill they don't even look at you. Its not normal for a person to be that close to your face without either a) kissing you, b) talking to you, or c) looking you in the eye. But just when you think the weirdness is over, they actually talk to you. What are you supposed to do in that situation? If you speak you run the risk of incurring injuries due to the various metal hooks presently in your mouth; but if you don't speak you're ignoring a person who is 3 inches from your face and in control of those hooks. This is why I usually go for a grunt or throat laugh, depending on the situation. Another awkward time is when something funny happens. You obviously can't smile for fear of being admonished for not saying "ahhhh." Then again, you don't want to be No Sense of Humor Guy. It's just unfortunate all around. But the thing that is most confusing to me is that you see the actual dentist for all of 3 minutes. He shakes your hand, pokes you teeth, moves the mirror around and then he's out of there. Kind of like drive-by dentistry. But oh well, I don't have any cavities so I don't really need the dentist to be there that long. Because truthfully, I've had enough confusion for one trip. See you in six months.