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Friday, August 31, 2007

The Grizzlies Could Be Decent This Year


For rillz, look at their roster (and ignore the fact that they have 17 guys on it) and think about the lineup they could theoretically field:

C: Darko
PF: Gasol
SF: Gay
SG: Miller
PG: Conley
Bench: Warrick, Lowry, Navarro, Swift, Cardinal

Note: I’m assuming that Stoudemire will be gone eventually

Doesn’t that seem like a competitive team? At the very least, with Iavaroni at the helm, this team can score some serious points. I’m not totally sold on Conley as a sure thing PG, but in an up-tempo system he could be destructive. And when Gasol inevitably gets hurt, inserting Warrick as a starter makes this team even faster and better defensively.

Aside from the fact that these guys are a mosaic (4-year college guys, foreigners, 1-and-dones) where the Bobcats are carefully assembled; aren’t they pretty much Charlotte West? And aren’t we all pretty excited to see what happens with the Bobcats this year? Gasol is a go-to scorer and a solid rebounder, Darko protects the glass, Miller shoots the lights out, and everybody else sprints. It’s a model that can work for sure; a hybrid of the Suns and the Warriors.

Of course Conley and Navarro are rookies, Gay only sometimes cares about playing basketball, Mike Miller looks like a girl, Gasol is always hurt or unhappy, Warrick is basically Stro Swift with 9 extra brain cells, Cardinal is a thief, Darko is Darko, Lowry is coming back from an injury, and their coach has never been a head guy before. Plus there are about 18 more reasons this team could be horribly brutal, but can’t I dream that a team that looks like something that I’d put together on Playstation could actually be somewhat competitive? Is it such a stretch that these guys could be seeded anywhere from 6-8 in the West, and win a series if they get the right match up?

Either way, they’re going to be hilarious to watch on League Pass late at night.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Blogfathers

Meeting people you look up to can be a harrowing situation. You don’t want to meet such a person and find out they’re a total jerk. Nonetheless, I’ll be attending the 1st Annual FreeDarko World Columbian Exposition tonight. And with that being said, I’d like to highlight a few of the writers that have inspired me to traverse the choppy waters of the NBA blogosphere:

Will Leitch, Deadspin – I’ve had the pleasure of meeting him once and he’s the nicest dude you could imagine, even if he was hating on the random 80s music playing in Big Black. Though he may only be tangentially interested in the NBA, you can’t argue against the guy who spawned a thousand sports blogs.

Henry Abbott, TrueHoop - Even though his comments section has turned in to an internet Bosnia since he moved to ESPN, Henry is the most informative NBA blog there is. Once the season rolls around, his analysis is tops.

Kelly Dwyer, Sports Illustrated – It’s sad that KD gets held down a little by SI, but his writing on TrueHoop and FreeDarko show just how awesome he is. Plus he’s a Bulls fan which is always nice.

Masters of the Klondike, FreeDarko – It’s really impossible to describe FreeDarko but I’ve been reading Shoals, DLIC, Recluse, and the rest for a minute and they’ve changed the way I see the league.

The Hype Guy, NBA and Other Unrelatedness – Hype specializes in absurdity and silliness which are two things I value in anyone.

These writers have had tremendous influence on the Blowtorch you see today. Without a little knowledge of where you came from, you can’t ever know where you’re going.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Who is Drazen Petrovic?



The answer is both simple and complicated. Happenstance and natural selection, really.

The simple answer is that Drazen Petrovic was an explosive shooting guard from the early 90s; and the more important and more correct answer is that Petrovic was instrumental in introducing America to basketball outside of the United States. Without Petrovic (and other pioneers such as Detlef Schrempf, Dino Radja, and Sarunas Marciulionis), players like Dirk Nowitski wouldn’t win the MVP. Juan Jose Barrea wouldn’t be a highly sought after commodity, and Marco Belinelli wouldn’t be a first round draft pick.

Petrovic, born in Croatia, spent his early years dominating Eastern European leagues and starring international competition, even leading his team to a silver medal behind the Dream Team in 1992. After averaging 37.7 points (with a single game high of 112 -- seriously, read that again, 112 points in a SINGLE GAME), Petrovic jumped from his Croatian team, Cibona, to the more competitive Spanish league, signing with Real Madrid. At this same time, Petrovic was drafted in the third round by the Portland Trailblazers, and after a second place finish in Spain, he jumped to the NBA in the 1989-1990 season.

Though smothered by established Blazer greats Clyde Drexler and Terry Porter, Drazen still posted impressive numbers in his rookie season, averaging 7.4 ppg in only 12 min (29.6 per 48 minutes). However, as the Blazers focused their efforts on the ultimately unfulfilled quest of an NBA championship, Petrovic was pushed even deeper to the bench, averaging only 7 minutes a game before requesting a trade 38 games in to the season.

On January 23, 1991 Petrovic joined Derrick Coleman and Kenny Anderson to form one of the most potential-laden and FreeDarko teams in league history. Petrovic would have an immediate impact as he averaged 12.6 ppg for the remainder of the season. The 1991-92 season saw Petrovic establish himself as a star in the NBA as he averaged 20.6 ppg while leading all guards in shooting percentage at the impressive clip of 51%. Furthermore, the play of Petrovic helped lead the Nets to the playoffs for the first time since 1986. Though impressive, the following season would be Petrovic’s finest. While increasing his scoring to 22.3 per and continuing to lead NBA guards in field goal percentage at 52%, Petrovic was named to the All-NBA Third Team.

However, the following summer resulted in the ultimate tragedy as Petrovic lost his life in an automobile accident on June 7th, 1993. While riding on a rain-soaked highway, Petrovic’s car slammed in to an out of control semi, killing Petrovic and leaving the other two occupants seriously injured. Just 4 months shy of his 29th birthday, Drazen Petrovic’s promise was taken, leaving only memories behind.

Though he was a devastating combo guard, Petrovic’s true legacy is the path he carved for European players who dream of playing in the NBA. Petrovic embodied every characteristic typically associated with Euros today. He was a great shooter, great passer, he really couldn’t care less about defense., and he was kind of goofy-looking. Despite his short career Petrovic was posthumously inducted in to the basketball hall of fame in 2002.

I could write all night about the impact that Petrovic had on the NBA and its influx of European talent, but it’s really a testament to his influence that that conversation could even take place. To understand where Drazen Petrovic came from is to understand how the NBA is today.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Endtroducing ... The Blowtorch 10

Have a looksy at the list on the right. These are the most important basketball players in my NBA consciousness. It doesn't mean they're necessarily my favorite players (though they mostly are), but they are the players that mean the most to how I feel about the season and how I watch the games. Once the season begins, I'll be updating it weekly, with brief commentary, depending on what's going on around the league.

Notes on the list:
  • Gilbert Arenas is my favorite player in the league.
  • I used to HATE Kobe, but I've come to realize he's the player most likely to explode and make something special happen. I'm almost to the point where I like him.
  • Nash is just amazing. He'll spend a lot of time atop the list once I get to see the Suns play again.
  • Timmy D is the dude I wish I could play like...
  • ...since I don't have comparable skills to Kirilenko.
  • :07 or Less has me loving pretty much all of the Suns, but Barbosa is the guy who is the most intriguing to me. That whole team is the diggity though.
  • Noah, Oden, and Durant are very intriguing so they're there for now.
  • The progression of Prince Deng holds the key to the Bulls' season. That's pretty important to me.

Yes, the rookie shirt is in progress. Hopefully finished this weekend. Check out all the caricatures in the meantime.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Petteri Koponen is a Playboy. Literally.

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Petteri Koponen

Strengths: ballin ball passer, shoots 3 bombs, contagious grin, played for a team called the Playboys
Weaknesses:
youngski, turnover prone, won't play in the US for like 2 years

NBA Comparison (best-case):
Drazen Petrovic
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Steve Blake
NBA Comparison (most likely): Kirk Hinrich

Monday, August 20, 2007

Alando Tucker is a Phoenix Sun(s?)

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Alando Tucker


Strengths: fast at running, has 3 point range, loves dunking and/or getting fouled, went to University of Wisconsin - which some people think is a strength
Weaknesses: not a great first step, average defender, tweener

NBA Comparison (best-case): Luol Deng
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Sasha Pavlovic
NBA Comparison (most likely): Trenton Hassell

Thursday, August 16, 2007

(tee-A-go SPLIT-er)

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Tiago SplitterStrengths: athletic big man, smoove in da post, fantastical passer, amazing name
Weaknesses: doesn't score a ton, not a wonderful defender, probably injury prone

NBA Comparison (best-case): Brad Miller
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Jeff Foster
NBA Comparison (most likely): P.J. Brown

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Arron Afflalo's mom must have been terrible at spelling

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.



Arron Afflalo




Strengths: good midrange game, able to contribute right away, strong defender
Weaknesses: not very athletic, won't be a big scorer, name is spelled way crazy

NBA Comparison (best-case): Shane Battier
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Keith Bogans
NBA Comparison (most likely): Raja Bell

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

For real, Aaron Brooks was a first round pick

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Aaron Brooks


Strengths: quick as spit, scores in bunches, killer in the open court, wears #0
Weaknesses: tiny, no left hand, creepy eyes

NBA Comparison (best-case): Earl Boykins
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Jason Gardener
NBA Comparison (most likely): Tony Delk

Friday, August 10, 2007

Morris Almond aka Mo-Nuts

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.


Morris Almond
Strengths: serious 3-point range, explosivo!, crazy good scorer, Mo-Nuts is the best nickname ever
Weaknesses: weak handles, below average defensively, occasionally turnover prone

NBA Comparison (best-case): Ray Allen
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Adam Morrison
NBA Comparison (most likely): Michael Redd

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Why does Danny Ainge love the mid 2000s Pacers?

So the Celtics might get Reggie Miller and they just signed Scot Pollard (aka Insano Zach Morris). Both bizarre moves, but I guess they both make a little sense since they were teammates for 3 years on the Pacers. And the Pacers GM is Larry Bird who played with Danny Ainge and obviously Ainge only trusts former Boston Celtics.

ANYWAYS, like I said, Pollard and Reggie were both Pacers for a time so I decided to have a look at what other ineffectual, washed-up veterans the Celtics could poach from those somewhat competitive Pacers teams of yore.

Dale Davis – played in 46 games for the Pistons last year, so this might not actually be a terrible signing. Sure he’s about 80 years old, but he could teach Kendrick Perkins the finer points of being a dirty player and elbowing people, which are always valuable skills. Also he’d bring the experience of choking in the playoffs (from his Portland days), an attribute that will surely come in handy in the post-season.

David Harrison – he’s a large, somewhat talented big man who never panned out. Where have I heard that before?

Jonathan Bender – once the next Kevin Garnett, now he can play with the real Garnett and see what an unfortunate case he truly is.

Michael Curry – his Hall of Fame probability is .000, so I’d imagine the Celtics could get him for cheap; and after spending tons of money on their Big Three, that’s important.

John Edwards – it’s always wise to have a former Vice-Presidential candidate on your basketball team.

Britton Johnsen – he’s not really British, but I’d imagine he says “Ello, guvna!” really well. That kind of guy is wonderful for team morale.

Samaki Walker – if only so he can wear this get-up to every game. It doesn’t violate the dress code.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Rudy Hernandez, stealer of hearts

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Rudy Fernandez

Strengths: good range on his shot, talented scorer, scruffy facial hair
Weaknesses: defense does not interest him, occasionally turnover prone, will steal wives from numerous Portland men since he's Spanish

NBA Comparison (best-case): Manu Ginobili
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Sasha Vujacic
NBA Comparison (most likely): Kevin Martin

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Ms. Wilson Chanandaler Bong

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Wilson Chandler
Strengths: mad hops, wicked athletic, loves dunking
Weaknesses: inconsistent, spotty jumper, tweener

NBA Comparison (best-case): Shawn Marion
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Joey Graham
NBA Comparison (most likely): Mickael Pietrus

My Mom is awesome

On the latest FreeDarko post, a discussion in the comments broke out about who the real "stars" in the NBA are. Someone suggested that the best way to tell is to ask your girlfriend who she knows, as these are the players that have crossed-over the most. However, seeing as my girlfriend's dream is to be a professional men's basketball coach and we spent the whole first month of our courtship watching the NCAA tournament, this doesn't really apply to me. Thankfully my mom is peripherally aware of the NBA, so I asked her who in the NBA she knows and her responses left me giggly and astounded. Here's her list:

Stephen Marbury close enough
Steve Nash
Tim Duncan
Kevin Garnett
LeBron James
Kobe Bryant
Carmello Anthony close
Anferne Hardaway and his baby bro I'm guessing this means Lil' Penny
Duane Wade close
Iver Anderson this means Allen Iverson, she's known him since I got his G'town jersey in 8th grade
Dirk Nowitski really, Mom?
Gilbert Arenas

Stunnning, really. I guess there are some reasons (Wade's Sidekick commercials, I had the And 1 Marbury's sophomore year of High School, my two Arenas shirts, etc.) but the fact that she names these minor stars and not Shaq, who is the biggest star in the league, is pretty hilarious to me.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Jared Dudley is not the guy from the Subway ads

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.


Jared Dudley


Strengths: exquisite passer, can contribute right away, high basketball IQ
Weaknesses: not very athletic, sketchy jumper, sometimes stuggles playing defense



NBA Comparison (best-case): Ryan Gomes
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Pat Garrity
NBA Comparison (most likely): Adrian Griffin

Friday, August 3, 2007

Daeiouandsometimesyquan Cook

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Daequan Cook

Strengths: good range on his jumper, scores well, decent rebounder for a guard
Weaknesses: turnover prone, inconsistent, small for a 2

NBA Comparison (best-case): Michael Finley
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Robert Pack
NBA Comparison (most likely): Larry Hughes

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Jason Smith is a very plain fellow

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Jason Smith


Strengths: good shooter for a big man, mobile, decent rebounder
Weaknesses: T-Rex arms, bit of a sissy, weak sauce

NBA Comparison (best-case): Andrea Bargnani
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Maciej Lampe
NBA Comparison (most likely): Brian Cook

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

I would imagine there is only one Javaris Crittenton in the world

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.



Javaris Crittenton
Strengths: huge for a point guard, crazy athletic, good scorer
Weaknesses: raw as sushi, not to great at being a point guard yet


NBA Comparison (best-case): Steve Francis
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Rick Brunson
NBA Comparison (most likely): Keyon Dooling