So the Celtics might get Reggie Miller and they just signed Scot Pollard (aka Insano Zach Morris). Both bizarre moves, but I guess they both make a little sense since they were teammates for 3 years on the Pacers. And the Pacers GM is Larry Bird who played with Danny Ainge and obviously Ainge only trusts former Boston Celtics.
ANYWAYS, like I said, Pollard and Reggie were both Pacers for a time so I decided to have a look at what other ineffectual, washed-up veterans the Celtics could poach from those somewhat competitive Pacers teams of yore.
Dale Davis – played in 46 games for the Pistons last year, so this might not actually be a terrible signing. Sure he’s about 80 years old, but he could teach Kendrick Perkins the finer points of being a dirty player and elbowing people, which are always valuable skills. Also he’d bring the experience of choking in the playoffs (from his Portland days), an attribute that will surely come in handy in the post-season.
David Harrison – he’s a large, somewhat talented big man who never panned out. Where have I heard that before?
Jonathan Bender – once the next Kevin Garnett, now he can play with the real Garnett and see what an unfortunate case he truly is.
Michael Curry – his Hall of Fame probability is .000, so I’d imagine the Celtics could get him for cheap; and after spending tons of money on their Big Three, that’s important.
John Edwards – it’s always wise to have a former Vice-Presidential candidate on your basketball team.
Britton Johnsen – he’s not really British, but I’d imagine he says “Ello, guvna!” really well. That kind of guy is wonderful for team morale.
Samaki Walker – if only so he can wear this get-up to every game. It doesn’t violate the dress code.